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Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition, which presents as persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity that interfere with one’s daily functioning.

The DSM-V classifies ADHD into three subtypes:

• Predominantly inattentive (difficulties in focus and organisation)
• Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive (restlessness, impulsivity and difficulty staying still); and
• Combined presentation (features of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity)

While ADHD is commonly identified in childhood, symptoms often persist into adulthood.

How does ADHD present in Adults?

ADHD in adults does not always resemble the stereotypical hyperactive child, which is why it can be missed. Symptoms in adults may appear more subtle and internalised. Adults may struggle with chronic procrastination, disorganisation, forgetfulness, poor time management and difficulty prioritising tasks. Restlessness often manifests as an inability to relax or a need to always be doing something, as opposed to the over hyperactivity we see in childhood. Another common feature, which is often missed is poor emotional regulation. This presents as low frustration tolerance, irritability and mood swings.

Why ADHD can be easily missed in Adults

In my experience, the reason that most adults with ADHD were never diagnosed as children is because they were inattentive rather than hyperactive. It’s difficult to miss the hyperactive subtype, as they are disruptive. However, children who are inattentive are not really bothering anyone, so the diagnosis may go unnoticed. Girls are more likely to mask symptoms, often due to societal expectations of how girls should behave. So, I notice that girls are more likely to remain undiagnosed. In adulthood, ADHD can be mistaken for stress anxiety or even depression, due to an overlap in symptoms. Sadly, adults who have ADHD but have not been diagnosed spend many years feeling inadequate, without realising that there is an underlying neurological explanation. Many adults tend to feel great relief upon being diagnosed, due to having regarded the symptoms as character flaws. They may, at the same time, feel disappointed about not being diagnosed earlier in life, because their lives may have been easier and they may have realized more of their potential.

Adult ADHD in Everyday Life

Recognising ADHD in oneself or a loved one may involve noticing patterns such as:

• Chronic procrastination
• Starting many projects but rarely every completing them
• Poor time management -being consistently late or missing deadlines
• Misplacing everyday items such as one’s phone, glasses or keys
• Being easily distracted during conversations or tasks
• Low frustration tolerance
• Impulsivity in decision making, spending or relationships
• Overstimulation

A diagnosis needs to be made by a qualified healthcare professional and entails taking a detailed developmental history, a structured clinical interview and relevant psychometric assessments. It is important that other conditions that mimic or co-occur with ADHD are ruled out.

Treatment for ADHD is multifaceted and may include stimulant or non-stimulant medication and psychotherapy to assist with emotional regulation, organizational skills and problem solving.

Self Management

Lifestyle factors that can help improve daily functioning include:

• Planners, apps and reminders to structure tasks and manage time
• Breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps
• Establishing consistent routines for work, sleep and exercise
• Practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques to improve focus

The diagnosis and management of adult ADHD can be truly lifechanging. With the right combination of professional intervention and self management skills, adults with ADHD can harness their strengths, reduce daily struggles and live with greater confidence.

Learn how to be there – gently, honestly, and without pressure.

We all hit low points in life, times when things feel too heavy to carry alone. If someone close to you is struggling, you may find yourself wondering how best to show up for them. What do you say? What if you say the wrong thing? How much is too much?

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to fix anything. What your friend needs is your presence, patience, and support.

Be there, without needing to do it all

When someone is overwhelmed or down, conversation might be hard for them. Let them know, simply and clearly, that you’re close by.

“I’m here if you need anything.”
“You’re not alone in this.”
“No pressure to talk – just know I’m around.”

Sometimes your quiet presence says more than words.

Let them speak, if and when they’re ready

We often want to lift our friends out of pain. But trying to offer fixes too soon can feel like pressure. The best gift you can offer is space to talk-or not talk-without judgment.

“Do you want to chat, or would some company feel good right now?”
“Would it help if I just listened?”

Your attention and patience say, “You matter.” That’s enough.

Speak with softness

Well-meant advice like “Just stay positive” can fall flat, or even feel hurtful. Instead, try to gently reflect what you see, without judgment:

These words are simple yet steadying, and allow you to be an emotional anchor without offering any judgment.

Offer small acts of support

When mental health dips, even everyday tasks can feel impossible. Your friend may not ask for help, but small gestures can ease the load:

Rather than “Let me know if you need anything,” try:

“Would it help if I did [this specific thing]?”

Stay gently connected

Even if your friend pulls away, a quick message can be a lifeline. A voice note, a meme, a photo from your day – these are tiny reminders that they’re not forgotten.

No long messages needed. Just a steady thread of care.

If the time feels right, mention support options

Professional help can be essential, but the idea can feel overwhelming. If you sense your friend is open, you might gently say:

“Have you thought about chatting to a therapist or counsellor?”
“Needing support doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you – it just means you’re human.”

Frame it as a normal, kind option, not a diagnosis.

Don’t forget your own care

Caring for someone can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to need rest, too.
Pause. Breathe. Talk to someone if you need to. You’re allowed to care deeply and protect your own well-being.

Final thought

You don’t need to be perfect to be a good friend. You just need to be steady, kind, and real.

Your presence can be a powerful source of comfort. Because when someone feels truly seen, it helps them find their way through.

Take care of each other. And of yourself.
Supporting your wellbeing, body, and mind.

In homes, offices and communities around South Africa, women quietly juggle a multitude of tasks – an invisible weight that can lead to exhaustion, burnout and mental health challenges.

The mental load refers to the cognitive and emotional labour involved in managing daily life. It’s more than just tasks and chores; it’s also about remembering things, planning ahead, anticipating possible challenges and ensuring that everything runs smoothly. Imagine a women leading an important meeting at work, while remembering what groceries need to be restocked at home, anticipating that her husband’s medication is about to run out and needs to be bought, thinking about what to cook, remembering that her mother-in-law’s birthday is coming up and she needs to buy a gift, making a mental note to buy rugby tickets and needing to check up on a friend who has been having a hard time. Some of these tasks are for her to do, others are for her to plan, some she needs to think about and others she needs to manage.

The mental load doesn’t just affect mothers or married women, Single women, working professionals, daughters, caregivers and even teenagers often carry these invisible responsibilities. Whether it’s organising family get-togethers, supporting loved ones emotionally or being the default person to notice and fix problems, many women are raised and socialised to be the one who holds it all together.

The mental load contributes to higher levels of chronic stress, anxiety, sleep disturbances and burnout in women. There’s no debate that women shoulder the planning and emotional responsibilities at both home and at work leading to increased risk of depression and anxiety. Further, carrying the mental load and erode one’s self worth over time. When everything depends on a woman having to remember, plan or manage, this can become attached to her identity and a marker of her value. But the reality is that the pressure is unsustainable. More importantly, the lack of recognition for her cognitive effort can lead to resentment, emotional exhaustion, irritability and strained relationships.

While systemic and cultural shifts are essential to change, here are some tips that can help ease the burden:

• Name it to tame it: start by acknowledging and naming the mental load. Having the language to describe it can make it easier to communicate and share with others.
• Delegate and ask for help: Decide on what you feel most comfortable delegating, without having to micromanage. Allow others to take full responsibility of some tasks, while accepting that they are unlikely to do it as you would.
• Set boundaries: you don’t have to be the go-to person for everything. Decide what you would like to do, and decline other requests politely.
• Use external tools: planners, electronic diaries and shared to-do lists can help offload the mental clutter and distribute tasks more visibly with others.
• Schedule mental rest: rest is not just for the body, but also for the mind. Engage in activities that help you disconnect from responsibilities. It could be reading, a walk in nature, meditating or even doing nothing.

A mentally healthy women is not one who does it all, but one who knows that she doesn’t have to. Your worth is not determined by what you do.

We often underestimate the impact of being there for others; sometimes without having to do a thing. Sometimes people don’t need advice; they don’t need to be cheered up – they just need to know that they are not alone.

Support is an important protective factor against mental illness. Even if we don’t have the solutions or feel that we don’t know enough, showing up for a loved one in a way that is meaningful to them can help their healing.

Often with the best intentions, we may say or do things that aren’t necessarily helpful. When someone is struggling, it is often unhelpful to remind them that it could have been worse or to look on the bright side. While your intentions may be good, this can feel dismissive and invalidating. Sometimes our own discomfort with emotions can lead to what we call ‘toxic positivity’.

On the other hand, it doesn’t help to say ‘I understand’ if you don’t actually understand.

Here’s how you can support someone instead…

We are fortunate to live in a time when access to information (including information from experts) is easily and freely accessible. So, the most basic, yet meaningful way to support someone is by learning about their mental illness. This helps increase our understanding without putting the burden on them to explain. It also helps us understand the most effective treatments and how to support them better. The effort to learn about a loved one’s condition can help them feel truly cared for.

We can support someone by showing up for them. Often, telling someone that you are there for them may not be as effective as we hope. We have to support our words with actions. How can you show up for someone? There are two things to consider. Firstly, what would be helpful for them? Secondly, what is your capacity? Sometimes it may mean just being there to listen, without expecting them to feel better. Sometimes it may mean inviting them to go on a walk – a silent one if that’s what they may prefer. At other times it may be preparing a meal or helping with chores that they are struggling with. It’s important to know how someone feels supported.

If applicable, help facilitate professional help-seeking. This may mean trying to find a suitable healthcare professional, calling their medical aid to enquire about benefits or driving them to their appointments.

Sometimes supporting someone may look like giving them space, if that’s what they need. People have different personalities and benefit from different types of support. It’s important to respect boundaries (except if they are at high risk for self harm). Still, let them know that you may text to check up on them or that you are available when they are ready for company. Be mindful of pressurizing someone to talk or to go out if they’re not ready. Sometimes what we find helpful may not be helpful to the next person.

Being consistent in your care and support matters (while not jeopardising your own mental health). Even if they seem to be doing well, checking in shows that you care and can be depended on. Consistency is important because healing is not straightforward. Someone may do well, but regress a while later.

If you are supporting a loved one with mental illness, it’s important to prioritse your own selfcare. Caring for others can take an emotional toll, so remember to take care of you too, because that will also help you show up better for others.

Showing support isn’t about having all the answers. Sometimes a calm, compassionate presence can create the environment needed for healing.

If you’ve ever stepped out of a video call feeling unusually tired, foggy, or short-tempered, you’re not imagining it. That drained feeling has a name: Zoom fatigue.

Yes, technology keeps us connected. But spending hours online, constantly focusing, listening, speaking, and watching yourself—all without the usual in-person signals or natural pauses—is mentally exhausting.

And for many South Africans, this is the daily reality: remote work, online school, back-to-back virtual meetings, and few real breaks.

This isn’t about avoiding work. It’s about managing your energy, so you can show up clearly and sustainably, without burning out. Here’s how:

1. Call It What It Is

That sense of mental fog or irritability after a string of calls? That’s not weakness or bad attitude. It’s your nervous system doing the best it can under strain.

Say it to yourself:
“I’m feeling Zoom fatigue.”

Naming the problem helps you respond practically—by adjusting your schedule, stepping outside, or simply pausing before the next thing.

2. Take 3-Minute Breathers Between Calls

You don’t need a full hour to reset. Even a few minutes can help.

Try this:

It’s a small break, but your mind and body will register the reset.

3. Switch Off Self-View

Watching yourself talk all day increases self-consciousness and drains mental focus.

Most video platforms allow you to hide your own image without switching off your camera. That one click can help you concentrate on the conversation, not on how you look!

4. Build in Screen-Free Spaces

When every part of your day involves a screen, it’s harder for your mind to wind down.

Try adding just one tech-free habit:

You don’t need a full lifestyle overhaul, just awareness and a few consistent boundaries to mark the end of your screen day.

5. Protect Your Calendar Like It’s a Resource

Think of your time and focus as something you’re spending – and won’t get back.

Before accepting a meeting, ask:

Build in gaps where you can. A few minutes between Zoom calls helps your brain reset, so you’re not carrying one conversation into the next.

6. Bring Back the Human Touch

Fatigue often sets in when conversations feel rushed or you’re just ticking off items on an agenda. Make space for one human, a casual moment at the start of a meeting:
A genuine check-in, a shared laugh, a pause before diving in.

These aren’t distractions. They help regulate stress and remind everyone that we’re more than just names in rectangles.

_____

Zoom fatigue isn’t imaginary – it’s your brain responding to nonstop digital input, and asking for rest in the only way it can. So give yourself permission to pause, reset your screen habits, and rethink how you structure your day.

These are small, practical shifts. But over time, they help protect the clarity, energy, and presence you rely on, not just for work, but for life beyond the screen.

Mental health challenges may sometimes remain unnoticed in men, as they tend to present differently than in women. Unlike in women, symptoms of mental health challenges in men may present as irritability, violent outbursts, risky behaviours and substance misuse.

While women tend to seek help for their mental health more often than men do, this doesn’t mean that men are any less affected by mental health issues. While more men are starting to seek help, there are still many who refuse to because they feel that it’s ‘unmanly’.

One of the biggest contributing factors that explains how mental health challenges present in men is how they were raised. As children, we mostly learn through observation. So boys learn what is socially acceptable by observing their fathers or other male role models in their lives. As such, many boys learn at a young age that ‘boys don’t cry’, leading them to suffer in silence. Not seeing men admit when they are struggling or reaching out for help can lead to boys seeing vulnerability as weakness.

Boys who are raised in environments where their fathers turn to alcohol or other substances to cope or numb their pain, may later on adopt these behaviors as copings strategies, albeit, unhealthy. The similar pattern may occur when being exposed to fathers or other adult males who are aggressive or violent. What we grow up seeing becomes normalised to us, even though it is not actually normal.

Boys who were mocked or punished for displaying emotions learn early on that it is not okay to cry and that sensitivity is a weakness. This means that they may grow into adults who avoid their own emotions. Not just that – but because they don’t develop the ability to identify and understand emotions, they are also not able to empathise with loved loves. In my professional experience, men struggle significantly more than women to name negative emotions. The most common negative emotion that men seem to identify is anger (a more surface level, ‘powerful’ emotion) as opposed to more vulnerable emotions such as grief, disappointment, or betrayal. So it’s not uncommon for men to struggle with identifying, understanding and regulating their emotions. The emotions that we do not allow ourselves to feel can create other problems – health issues, substance issues, aggression and relationship issues.

Boys who grow up in ‘traditional’ families, learn that their role as men is to be a provider. So when they face challenges in adulthood, especially in our current socio-economic context, they carry a huge burden, often silently. There is often embarrassment and shame when one isn’t able to provide as they’d like, and not knowing how to channel such emotions effectively, can lead to significant mental health challenges.

It is important to note that men who attend therapy (willingly) report improved wellbeing and improved relationships. There is a huge relief that comes with understanding why we are the way that we are, and that we have the capacity to change. Emotional expression is also the key to resilience. Because stress is inevitable in life, resilience is an essential skill.

We need to raise boys and girls in the same way – encouraging and modelling emotional expression. Model healthy help-seeking behaviour, such as supportive relationships. Teach adaptive coping skills so they can deal with stress effectively.

If you are a man who wants to improve your mental health, start by working on your emotional literacy. Start to identify your emotions before they become outbursts. Learn healthy coping strategies and know that seeking help is a strength, not weakness.

Panic attacks are sudden, intense waves of fear or discomfort that can strike without warning. Though they may feel overwhelming, they are more common than many people realise, and crucially – they are manageable. Equipping yourself with coping effective techniques can help you regain a sense of calm and reduce the impact of panic attacks on your everyday life.

This article explores grounding techniques – simple, science-backed strategies that help you reconnect with the present moment and soothe anxiety, giving you a greater sense of control and wellbeing.

Understanding Panic Attacks

Panic attacks come  from the body’s natural fight-or-flight response. When faced with perceived danger, real or imagined,your nervous system releases a surge of adrenaline. This triggers physical symptoms such as a racing heart, shallow breathing, dizziness, and a feeling of fear or panic. While upsetting, these are normal bodily reactions designed to protect us.

Recognising that panic attacks are not a sign of weakness but a biological response is key to managing them. They are often linked with anxiety disorders, and approaching them with knowledge and compassion can make all the difference.

The Science Behind Grounding

Grounding techniques work by shifting your attention from internal panic to external reality. By consciously engaging your senses, these methods interrupt the anxiety loop and help stabilise your nervous system. Studies show that grounding practices can effectively calm the body and restore a sense of calm and safety.

Five Grounding Techniques That Work

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
    This method engages all five senses to anchor you in the present.

 Name:

• 5 things you see
• 4 things you feel
• 3 things you hear
• 2 things you smell
• 1 thing you taste It’s a quick way to shift focus from anxious thoughts to the physical world around you.

1. Deep Belly Breathing
   Also known as diaphragmatic breathing, this technique slows your breath and heart rate. Inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for two, and exhale through your mouth for six counts. Repeat until you feel your body settle.
2. Mindful Movement
   Gentle movement—like stretching or slow arm circles—grounds you in your body. These slow, deliberate actions shift your focus from racing thoughts to physical sensation.
3. Positive Affirmations
   Repeating phrases like “I am safe” or “this feeling will pass” can disrupt the cycle of panic and replace it with a sense of calm.
4. Engaging with an Object
   Hold a textured item or an ice cube in your hand. Focusing on its temperature or texture diverts your mind and brings your awareness back to the moment.

Make Grounding Part of Daily Life

The power of grounding lies in regular practice, not just during a panic attack, but as part of everyday self-care. Setting aside time to breathe, reflect, or engage your senses helps build emotional resilience. Whether during meditation or a quiet pause in a busy day, these small moments of reconnection can reduce the frequency and intensity of a panic attack.

When to Seek Professional Help

While grounding techniques are valuable, they don’t replace professional care. If panic attacks are frequent or interfere with your life, reaching out to a mental health professional is essential. Therapists, psychologists, and support services can provide tailored strategies that lead to lasting relief.

Grounding techniques offer a practical, empowering way to manage panic attacks and restore calm. By turning your attention outward and connecting with your body and senses, you can gently ease panic and rebuild emotional stability. Start small, practise regularly, and remember: reaching out for support is a sign of strength.

At Medshield Mind, we’re here to support your journey to mental wellbeing – because your peace of mind matters.

Impact of stress on our body and nervous system (and the actions we can take to regulate our nervous system)

Stress is something we all encounter in our day to day. Life is fast paced and rushing from one thing to the next, often under pressure, is something that has become the norm. But this norm can have detrimental effects on our health and we want to try to manage our stress better so that we can help our bodies be at their best

When we are stressed, our body turns on the ‘fight- or flight’ response ie our body is preparing us for a ‘fight’. Stress hormones increase, muscles start to tense up, blood pressure and heart rate increases and bodily functions that are not required for ‘fight’ are down regulated. – digestion for example!

While this response is useful in situations where we indeed need the above, it can have negative effects on our health and well being in the long run if we don’t learn to come out of it and to decompress and relax.

But how can we do this and help our bodies to ‘just chill’? Here are some tips!

1. Breathe!
   Deep belly breathing activates our ‘rest and digest’ nervous system. Try to do some breath work or give box breathing a try. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold the breath for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts and repeat at least 5 times.
2. Mindfulness and Meditation
   Regular meditation practises and mindfulness work such as journaling has been found to positively affect overall stress levels
3. Movement
   Movement, regardless of what it looks like, increases endorphins aka happy hormones and down regulates the stress response. Try for 15minutes daily!
4. Time in nature
   Time outside has significant effects on our overall health and well being. Something as simple as going outside into the sun for a few minutes or walking on grass barefoot can put you into a more relaxed state.
5. Sleep/overall rest
   Sleep is crucial for overall health. We want to aim for about 6-8 hours per night.

Implementing some of these things can have a significant effect on overall stress levels. A little goes a long way and it’s all about making small, sustainable changes for our health!

Children have more than just physical and material needs. They have emotional needs too. Even if a child’s material needs (food, clothing, education, etc.) were met, it is still possible that they were emotionally neglected.

Childhood emotional neglect is when a child’s emotional needs are consistently not met. Some of these needs include feeling loved, feeling a sense of belonging and acceptance, emotional validation, nurturing, empathy, support, encouragement and emotional safety. Emotional neglect can be difficult to identify, because by its very nature, it has to do with what the child did not get – as opposed to what they did get.

Examples of Childhood Emotional Neglect:

• A child feels sad after being excluded by a friend group and the parent scolds them for crying.
• A child gets a B in a test, but the parent asks why they couldn’t get an A like their friend.
• A parent seeks emotional support in their child by sharing financial struggles or marital issues.
• A child speaks about something that excites them, but the parent is focused on their phone.
• A child shares disappointment about not being selecting for a sports team, and the parents criticize the child for not trying harder.

Children whose emotional needs are not met learn to suppress their emotions as they start to believe that their emotions do not matter. This belief starts to infiltrate into adulthood.

How Childhood Emotional Neglect Manifests in Adulthood

Adults whose emotional needs were not met in childhood often struggle with low self esteem and self doubt. They may become self-critical as a result of internalizing critical voices that they’ve heard in childhood. This can lead to perfectionism as a way to seek validation and impostor syndrome as they doubt their own abilities and worth.

Another significant consequence is poor emotion regulation. In fact, it is common for such adults to either feel disconnected from their emotions and struggle to identify what they are feeling. Because the express of emotions was unsafe, not modelled or encouraged in childhood, it can lead the child to disconnect from their emotions. They may compensate for this by overthinking.

Childhood emotional neglect can lead to challenges in adult relationships in a few different ways.
Some examples include:

• Hyper-independence as they’ve learned that they have to have their own backs
• Difficulty trusting others, because they fear disappointment
• People pleasing, as a means of getting validation
• Emotional unavailability as they may fear rejection
• Accepting less than the bare minimum if they feel that they don’t deserve more
• Emotional hypervigilance, where they read into micro expressions and body language (often incorrectly).
• Anxious attachment where they require excessive reassurance.

Some other manifestations of childhood emotional neglect in adulthood are self sabotage (due to fear of failure), indecision (due to fear of someone being disappointed in their choices or not having received guidance in decision-making as a child), low self esteem (due to being compared to others or not being validated) and becoming the ‘rescuer’ in relationships (as they learnt this role early on).

Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect

• Acknowledge the experiences that shaped you, while practicing self compassion.
• Reflect on feelings as a regular practice to develop greater emotional awareness
• Find safe spaces to express emotions, either by journaling or by speaking to others who are emotionally safe
• Reparenting is a useful practice, where as adults, we start to give to ourselves things that we wish we had as children. This includes validation, encouragement, compassion, patience and allowing ourselves to feel all our feelings without judgement.
• Notice your self talk and make a point of replacing any judgmental thoughts with self compassion.
• Be more intentional about the relationships that you choose.
• Be clear on your values and priorities and align your decision making accordingly.
• Notice where you can set healthier boundaries.
• Therapy is often useful to understand how our childhood has shaped us, and more importantly to learn the tools to break those cycles.

While the scars of emotional neglect may be invisible, there is a clear impact on our adult lives. With self awareness, reflection and intention, we are capable of healthier relationships and living emotionally rich lives.