Category: Read

Most of us know instinctively what to do if someone falls and bruises their knee. However, when someone experiences mental health challenges, trauma, loss, grief or heartbreak, most people aren’t skilled on how to respond. Emotional wounds may be invisible, but they can be long lasting and pervasive, impacting on many areas of our lives. And because none of us are immune to mental health challenges, it helps to have some psychological first aid skills.

What is Psychological First Aid

Psychological first aid is the psychological equivalent of tending to a wound before it worsens. It’s the immediate compassionate support that we give to someone in distress. While medical first aid aims to preserve physical health, psychological first aid safeguards mental health, helping a person in distress feel safe, calm and supported until more structured support is available.

Why Psychological First Aid Matters

Because we are social beings and encounter people in different areas of life (e.g. work, communities, socially, etc.) psychological first aid is an invaluable skill to learn – also considering that challenges are inevitable in life. It’s not unusual for one to feel helpless and hopeless in the aftermath of a crisis or traumatic event. Without appropriate support, these feelings may intensify, contributing to more serious issues. Psychological first aid acts as an emotional stabilizer, to reduce the immediate distress and help build the foundation for resilience. It can also be empowering in our different environments, because when more people are equipped to offer support, fewer will suffer in silence.

How to Offer Psychological First Aid

Psychological first aid is not therapy, however the qualities of empathy and respect must always be present.

1. Ensure their Safety

Ensure that the person feels safe to speak to you, e.g. by ensuring that you are in a private space.

2. Listen with Empathy

Most people are just looking to be heard – they’re not really looking for advice. Listen actively, by giving them your undivided attention and validate their emotions. Listening helps one feel supported and reduces feelings of isolation.

3. Help Stabilize their Emotions

Offer warmth, presence and reassurance that they are not alone. Speak in a calm voice to help co-regulate. Offer to take a few slow, deep breaths together. If they are catastrophizing, you may guide them through a grounding exercise by naming 5 things that they can see, 4 things that they can feel, 3 things that they can hear, 2 things that they can smell and one thing that they can taste. Remind them that they are safe. Always ask for consent before offering a hug or any kind of touch.

4. Assess their Needs

Try to ascertain what sort of support they would most benefit from. Not everyone needs or will benefit from the same type of help. Some may require practical assistance while others may prefer emotional support.

5. Connect to Support Systems

Once the immediate crisis stabilizes, help them reconnect with resources. These may include friends, family or professional services. It helps to have a network of referral sources in your area to facilitate referrals.

Psychological first aid is not reserved for mental health professionals. Whatever role you play in your respective communities, it is an important skill to have. We live in a time where crises from personal to global affect us, and knowing psychological first aid is central to hope.

Anxiety disorders are the most prevalent type of mental disorders in South Africa with one study finding that almost 16% of the population have experienced an anxiety disorder. Another recent study shows that almost 25% of South Africans experience symptoms of probable anxiety. It’s likely that we will all meet a person with anxiety at some point. Perhaps that person is even a family member. Supporting a family member diagnosed with anxiety disorder can contribute to their healing process, so long as your support is well-informed.

1. Truly understanding their needs

Even the best intentions to support a loved one can be misguided if you don’t take time to understand the unique needs of your family member. Mental health is a spectrum and treatment is not a one-size-fits-all. Commit to continued learning not just about anxiety disorder but its expression in your family member. You can try to understand their needs by asking the person these questions and revisiting these themes through the journey:

• What makes you feel supported?
• What do I say that is helpful? Is there anything I say that you find unhelpful?
• What are some triggers that I can be aware of?
• Have you set any goals with your therapist?

1. Gentle support in reaching their goals

Some of your loved one’s goals may not seem significant but your enthusiastic support of small goals may be exactly what your family member needs right now. Depending on the nature of their anxiety disorder, attending a large event or busy place may be very daunting. If the person in question is only able to achieve a small part towards a goal, meet this with encouragement rather than pushing them too far.

2. Gentle support in preventing stagnation

While staying positive and focusing on achievements rather than failures, you can also support them in preventing avoidance of difficult tasks. Try some collaborative negotiation:

I hear you say that attending the birthday party would be overwhelming. Could we stop by for five minutes? We could leave as soon as you are feeling uncomfortable.

The nature of anxiety means that long term goals are at times suppressed due to immediate feelings of unease. As a supporting family member, your gentle reminders can keep their bigger-picture goals in focus.

3. Self-care as the supporter

It is normal to feel concerned about your loved one and you may experience feelings of anxiousness yourself. Looking after your own mental health (possibly link to Medshield blog: https://medshieldmind.co.za/expert-advice-on-mental-health-self-care-at-home/) will only enable you to look after your family member better. Monitor yourself and make sure you are not sacrificing your own goals and self-care while spending energy caregiving. Keep checking in with yourself. When your loved one panics, be sure not to panic yourself.

4. Avoid dismissive statements

Try to avoid dismissive statements that invalidate the person with anxiety’s experiences:

• “Don’t worry about it!”
• “Just calm down!”
• “Just relax!”
• “Don’t be silly!”

These statements may negate what they are feeling rather than reassure them.

5. Use supportive language

• “I know you can do it, even if you are feeling that way.”
• “Tell me what you need right now?”
• “It’s not the place that is the problem, it’s the thoughts. I know you are in pain but the situation we are in is not dangerous.”
• “Take a second to breathe.”

Statements like these can help a person to feel encouraged and grounded.

Remember, every person is unique. The road to healing is so much richer when we find support and love from the people in our lives. Helping your family member to feel seen and heard can be one of the most powerful ways to provide support.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition, which presents as persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity that interfere with one’s daily functioning.

The DSM-V classifies ADHD into three subtypes:

• Predominantly inattentive (difficulties in focus and organisation)
• Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive (restlessness, impulsivity and difficulty staying still); and
• Combined presentation (features of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity)

While ADHD is commonly identified in childhood, symptoms often persist into adulthood.

How does ADHD present in Adults?

ADHD in adults does not always resemble the stereotypical hyperactive child, which is why it can be missed. Symptoms in adults may appear more subtle and internalised. Adults may struggle with chronic procrastination, disorganisation, forgetfulness, poor time management and difficulty prioritising tasks. Restlessness often manifests as an inability to relax or a need to always be doing something, as opposed to the over hyperactivity we see in childhood. Another common feature, which is often missed is poor emotional regulation. This presents as low frustration tolerance, irritability and mood swings.

Why ADHD can be easily missed in Adults

In my experience, the reason that most adults with ADHD were never diagnosed as children is because they were inattentive rather than hyperactive. It’s difficult to miss the hyperactive subtype, as they are disruptive. However, children who are inattentive are not really bothering anyone, so the diagnosis may go unnoticed. Girls are more likely to mask symptoms, often due to societal expectations of how girls should behave. So, I notice that girls are more likely to remain undiagnosed. In adulthood, ADHD can be mistaken for stress anxiety or even depression, due to an overlap in symptoms. Sadly, adults who have ADHD but have not been diagnosed spend many years feeling inadequate, without realising that there is an underlying neurological explanation. Many adults tend to feel great relief upon being diagnosed, due to having regarded the symptoms as character flaws. They may, at the same time, feel disappointed about not being diagnosed earlier in life, because their lives may have been easier and they may have realized more of their potential.

Adult ADHD in Everyday Life

Recognising ADHD in oneself or a loved one may involve noticing patterns such as:

• Chronic procrastination
• Starting many projects but rarely every completing them
• Poor time management -being consistently late or missing deadlines
• Misplacing everyday items such as one’s phone, glasses or keys
• Being easily distracted during conversations or tasks
• Low frustration tolerance
• Impulsivity in decision making, spending or relationships
• Overstimulation

A diagnosis needs to be made by a qualified healthcare professional and entails taking a detailed developmental history, a structured clinical interview and relevant psychometric assessments. It is important that other conditions that mimic or co-occur with ADHD are ruled out.

Treatment for ADHD is multifaceted and may include stimulant or non-stimulant medication and psychotherapy to assist with emotional regulation, organizational skills and problem solving.

Self Management

Lifestyle factors that can help improve daily functioning include:

• Planners, apps and reminders to structure tasks and manage time
• Breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps
• Establishing consistent routines for work, sleep and exercise
• Practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques to improve focus

The diagnosis and management of adult ADHD can be truly lifechanging. With the right combination of professional intervention and self management skills, adults with ADHD can harness their strengths, reduce daily struggles and live with greater confidence.

Learn how to be there – gently, honestly, and without pressure.

We all hit low points in life, times when things feel too heavy to carry alone. If someone close to you is struggling, you may find yourself wondering how best to show up for them. What do you say? What if you say the wrong thing? How much is too much?

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to fix anything. What your friend needs is your presence, patience, and support.

Be there, without needing to do it all

When someone is overwhelmed or down, conversation might be hard for them. Let them know, simply and clearly, that you’re close by.

“I’m here if you need anything.”
“You’re not alone in this.”
“No pressure to talk – just know I’m around.”

Sometimes your quiet presence says more than words.

Let them speak, if and when they’re ready

We often want to lift our friends out of pain. But trying to offer fixes too soon can feel like pressure. The best gift you can offer is space to talk-or not talk-without judgment.

“Do you want to chat, or would some company feel good right now?”
“Would it help if I just listened?”

Your attention and patience say, “You matter.” That’s enough.

Speak with softness

Well-meant advice like “Just stay positive” can fall flat, or even feel hurtful. Instead, try to gently reflect what you see, without judgment:

These words are simple yet steadying, and allow you to be an emotional anchor without offering any judgment.

Offer small acts of support

When mental health dips, even everyday tasks can feel impossible. Your friend may not ask for help, but small gestures can ease the load:

Rather than “Let me know if you need anything,” try:

“Would it help if I did [this specific thing]?”

Stay gently connected

Even if your friend pulls away, a quick message can be a lifeline. A voice note, a meme, a photo from your day – these are tiny reminders that they’re not forgotten.

No long messages needed. Just a steady thread of care.

If the time feels right, mention support options

Professional help can be essential, but the idea can feel overwhelming. If you sense your friend is open, you might gently say:

“Have you thought about chatting to a therapist or counsellor?”
“Needing support doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you – it just means you’re human.”

Frame it as a normal, kind option, not a diagnosis.

Don’t forget your own care

Caring for someone can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to need rest, too.
Pause. Breathe. Talk to someone if you need to. You’re allowed to care deeply and protect your own well-being.

Final thought

You don’t need to be perfect to be a good friend. You just need to be steady, kind, and real.

Your presence can be a powerful source of comfort. Because when someone feels truly seen, it helps them find their way through.

Take care of each other. And of yourself.
Supporting your wellbeing, body, and mind.

In homes, offices and communities around South Africa, women quietly juggle a multitude of tasks – an invisible weight that can lead to exhaustion, burnout and mental health challenges.

The mental load refers to the cognitive and emotional labour involved in managing daily life. It’s more than just tasks and chores; it’s also about remembering things, planning ahead, anticipating possible challenges and ensuring that everything runs smoothly. Imagine a women leading an important meeting at work, while remembering what groceries need to be restocked at home, anticipating that her husband’s medication is about to run out and needs to be bought, thinking about what to cook, remembering that her mother-in-law’s birthday is coming up and she needs to buy a gift, making a mental note to buy rugby tickets and needing to check up on a friend who has been having a hard time. Some of these tasks are for her to do, others are for her to plan, some she needs to think about and others she needs to manage.

The mental load doesn’t just affect mothers or married women, Single women, working professionals, daughters, caregivers and even teenagers often carry these invisible responsibilities. Whether it’s organising family get-togethers, supporting loved ones emotionally or being the default person to notice and fix problems, many women are raised and socialised to be the one who holds it all together.

The mental load contributes to higher levels of chronic stress, anxiety, sleep disturbances and burnout in women. There’s no debate that women shoulder the planning and emotional responsibilities at both home and at work leading to increased risk of depression and anxiety. Further, carrying the mental load and erode one’s self worth over time. When everything depends on a woman having to remember, plan or manage, this can become attached to her identity and a marker of her value. But the reality is that the pressure is unsustainable. More importantly, the lack of recognition for her cognitive effort can lead to resentment, emotional exhaustion, irritability and strained relationships.

While systemic and cultural shifts are essential to change, here are some tips that can help ease the burden:

• Name it to tame it: start by acknowledging and naming the mental load. Having the language to describe it can make it easier to communicate and share with others.
• Delegate and ask for help: Decide on what you feel most comfortable delegating, without having to micromanage. Allow others to take full responsibility of some tasks, while accepting that they are unlikely to do it as you would.
• Set boundaries: you don’t have to be the go-to person for everything. Decide what you would like to do, and decline other requests politely.
• Use external tools: planners, electronic diaries and shared to-do lists can help offload the mental clutter and distribute tasks more visibly with others.
• Schedule mental rest: rest is not just for the body, but also for the mind. Engage in activities that help you disconnect from responsibilities. It could be reading, a walk in nature, meditating or even doing nothing.

A mentally healthy women is not one who does it all, but one who knows that she doesn’t have to. Your worth is not determined by what you do.

We often underestimate the impact of being there for others; sometimes without having to do a thing. Sometimes people don’t need advice; they don’t need to be cheered up – they just need to know that they are not alone.

Support is an important protective factor against mental illness. Even if we don’t have the solutions or feel that we don’t know enough, showing up for a loved one in a way that is meaningful to them can help their healing.

Often with the best intentions, we may say or do things that aren’t necessarily helpful. When someone is struggling, it is often unhelpful to remind them that it could have been worse or to look on the bright side. While your intentions may be good, this can feel dismissive and invalidating. Sometimes our own discomfort with emotions can lead to what we call ‘toxic positivity’.

On the other hand, it doesn’t help to say ‘I understand’ if you don’t actually understand.

Here’s how you can support someone instead…

We are fortunate to live in a time when access to information (including information from experts) is easily and freely accessible. So, the most basic, yet meaningful way to support someone is by learning about their mental illness. This helps increase our understanding without putting the burden on them to explain. It also helps us understand the most effective treatments and how to support them better. The effort to learn about a loved one’s condition can help them feel truly cared for.

We can support someone by showing up for them. Often, telling someone that you are there for them may not be as effective as we hope. We have to support our words with actions. How can you show up for someone? There are two things to consider. Firstly, what would be helpful for them? Secondly, what is your capacity? Sometimes it may mean just being there to listen, without expecting them to feel better. Sometimes it may mean inviting them to go on a walk – a silent one if that’s what they may prefer. At other times it may be preparing a meal or helping with chores that they are struggling with. It’s important to know how someone feels supported.

If applicable, help facilitate professional help-seeking. This may mean trying to find a suitable healthcare professional, calling their medical aid to enquire about benefits or driving them to their appointments.

Sometimes supporting someone may look like giving them space, if that’s what they need. People have different personalities and benefit from different types of support. It’s important to respect boundaries (except if they are at high risk for self harm). Still, let them know that you may text to check up on them or that you are available when they are ready for company. Be mindful of pressurizing someone to talk or to go out if they’re not ready. Sometimes what we find helpful may not be helpful to the next person.

Being consistent in your care and support matters (while not jeopardising your own mental health). Even if they seem to be doing well, checking in shows that you care and can be depended on. Consistency is important because healing is not straightforward. Someone may do well, but regress a while later.

If you are supporting a loved one with mental illness, it’s important to prioritse your own selfcare. Caring for others can take an emotional toll, so remember to take care of you too, because that will also help you show up better for others.

Showing support isn’t about having all the answers. Sometimes a calm, compassionate presence can create the environment needed for healing.

If you’ve ever stepped out of a video call feeling unusually tired, foggy, or short-tempered, you’re not imagining it. That drained feeling has a name: Zoom fatigue.

Yes, technology keeps us connected. But spending hours online, constantly focusing, listening, speaking, and watching yourself—all without the usual in-person signals or natural pauses—is mentally exhausting.

And for many South Africans, this is the daily reality: remote work, online school, back-to-back virtual meetings, and few real breaks.

This isn’t about avoiding work. It’s about managing your energy, so you can show up clearly and sustainably, without burning out. Here’s how:

1. Call It What It Is

That sense of mental fog or irritability after a string of calls? That’s not weakness or bad attitude. It’s your nervous system doing the best it can under strain.

Say it to yourself:
“I’m feeling Zoom fatigue.”

Naming the problem helps you respond practically—by adjusting your schedule, stepping outside, or simply pausing before the next thing.

2. Take 3-Minute Breathers Between Calls

You don’t need a full hour to reset. Even a few minutes can help.

Try this:

It’s a small break, but your mind and body will register the reset.

3. Switch Off Self-View

Watching yourself talk all day increases self-consciousness and drains mental focus.

Most video platforms allow you to hide your own image without switching off your camera. That one click can help you concentrate on the conversation, not on how you look!

4. Build in Screen-Free Spaces

When every part of your day involves a screen, it’s harder for your mind to wind down.

Try adding just one tech-free habit:

You don’t need a full lifestyle overhaul, just awareness and a few consistent boundaries to mark the end of your screen day.

5. Protect Your Calendar Like It’s a Resource

Think of your time and focus as something you’re spending – and won’t get back.

Before accepting a meeting, ask:

Build in gaps where you can. A few minutes between Zoom calls helps your brain reset, so you’re not carrying one conversation into the next.

6. Bring Back the Human Touch

Fatigue often sets in when conversations feel rushed or you’re just ticking off items on an agenda. Make space for one human, a casual moment at the start of a meeting:
A genuine check-in, a shared laugh, a pause before diving in.

These aren’t distractions. They help regulate stress and remind everyone that we’re more than just names in rectangles.

_____

Zoom fatigue isn’t imaginary – it’s your brain responding to nonstop digital input, and asking for rest in the only way it can. So give yourself permission to pause, reset your screen habits, and rethink how you structure your day.

These are small, practical shifts. But over time, they help protect the clarity, energy, and presence you rely on, not just for work, but for life beyond the screen.

Mental health challenges may sometimes remain unnoticed in men, as they tend to present differently than in women. Unlike in women, symptoms of mental health challenges in men may present as irritability, violent outbursts, risky behaviours and substance misuse.

While women tend to seek help for their mental health more often than men do, this doesn’t mean that men are any less affected by mental health issues. While more men are starting to seek help, there are still many who refuse to because they feel that it’s ‘unmanly’.

One of the biggest contributing factors that explains how mental health challenges present in men is how they were raised. As children, we mostly learn through observation. So boys learn what is socially acceptable by observing their fathers or other male role models in their lives. As such, many boys learn at a young age that ‘boys don’t cry’, leading them to suffer in silence. Not seeing men admit when they are struggling or reaching out for help can lead to boys seeing vulnerability as weakness.

Boys who are raised in environments where their fathers turn to alcohol or other substances to cope or numb their pain, may later on adopt these behaviors as copings strategies, albeit, unhealthy. The similar pattern may occur when being exposed to fathers or other adult males who are aggressive or violent. What we grow up seeing becomes normalised to us, even though it is not actually normal.

Boys who were mocked or punished for displaying emotions learn early on that it is not okay to cry and that sensitivity is a weakness. This means that they may grow into adults who avoid their own emotions. Not just that – but because they don’t develop the ability to identify and understand emotions, they are also not able to empathise with loved loves. In my professional experience, men struggle significantly more than women to name negative emotions. The most common negative emotion that men seem to identify is anger (a more surface level, ‘powerful’ emotion) as opposed to more vulnerable emotions such as grief, disappointment, or betrayal. So it’s not uncommon for men to struggle with identifying, understanding and regulating their emotions. The emotions that we do not allow ourselves to feel can create other problems – health issues, substance issues, aggression and relationship issues.

Boys who grow up in ‘traditional’ families, learn that their role as men is to be a provider. So when they face challenges in adulthood, especially in our current socio-economic context, they carry a huge burden, often silently. There is often embarrassment and shame when one isn’t able to provide as they’d like, and not knowing how to channel such emotions effectively, can lead to significant mental health challenges.

It is important to note that men who attend therapy (willingly) report improved wellbeing and improved relationships. There is a huge relief that comes with understanding why we are the way that we are, and that we have the capacity to change. Emotional expression is also the key to resilience. Because stress is inevitable in life, resilience is an essential skill.

We need to raise boys and girls in the same way – encouraging and modelling emotional expression. Model healthy help-seeking behaviour, such as supportive relationships. Teach adaptive coping skills so they can deal with stress effectively.

If you are a man who wants to improve your mental health, start by working on your emotional literacy. Start to identify your emotions before they become outbursts. Learn healthy coping strategies and know that seeking help is a strength, not weakness.

Panic attacks are sudden, intense waves of fear or discomfort that can strike without warning. Though they may feel overwhelming, they are more common than many people realise, and crucially – they are manageable. Equipping yourself with coping effective techniques can help you regain a sense of calm and reduce the impact of panic attacks on your everyday life.

This article explores grounding techniques – simple, science-backed strategies that help you reconnect with the present moment and soothe anxiety, giving you a greater sense of control and wellbeing.

Understanding Panic Attacks

Panic attacks come  from the body’s natural fight-or-flight response. When faced with perceived danger, real or imagined,your nervous system releases a surge of adrenaline. This triggers physical symptoms such as a racing heart, shallow breathing, dizziness, and a feeling of fear or panic. While upsetting, these are normal bodily reactions designed to protect us.

Recognising that panic attacks are not a sign of weakness but a biological response is key to managing them. They are often linked with anxiety disorders, and approaching them with knowledge and compassion can make all the difference.

The Science Behind Grounding

Grounding techniques work by shifting your attention from internal panic to external reality. By consciously engaging your senses, these methods interrupt the anxiety loop and help stabilise your nervous system. Studies show that grounding practices can effectively calm the body and restore a sense of calm and safety.

Five Grounding Techniques That Work

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
    This method engages all five senses to anchor you in the present.

 Name:

• 5 things you see
• 4 things you feel
• 3 things you hear
• 2 things you smell
• 1 thing you taste It’s a quick way to shift focus from anxious thoughts to the physical world around you.

1. Deep Belly Breathing
   Also known as diaphragmatic breathing, this technique slows your breath and heart rate. Inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for two, and exhale through your mouth for six counts. Repeat until you feel your body settle.
2. Mindful Movement
   Gentle movement—like stretching or slow arm circles—grounds you in your body. These slow, deliberate actions shift your focus from racing thoughts to physical sensation.
3. Positive Affirmations
   Repeating phrases like “I am safe” or “this feeling will pass” can disrupt the cycle of panic and replace it with a sense of calm.
4. Engaging with an Object
   Hold a textured item or an ice cube in your hand. Focusing on its temperature or texture diverts your mind and brings your awareness back to the moment.

Make Grounding Part of Daily Life

The power of grounding lies in regular practice, not just during a panic attack, but as part of everyday self-care. Setting aside time to breathe, reflect, or engage your senses helps build emotional resilience. Whether during meditation or a quiet pause in a busy day, these small moments of reconnection can reduce the frequency and intensity of a panic attack.

When to Seek Professional Help

While grounding techniques are valuable, they don’t replace professional care. If panic attacks are frequent or interfere with your life, reaching out to a mental health professional is essential. Therapists, psychologists, and support services can provide tailored strategies that lead to lasting relief.

Grounding techniques offer a practical, empowering way to manage panic attacks and restore calm. By turning your attention outward and connecting with your body and senses, you can gently ease panic and rebuild emotional stability. Start small, practise regularly, and remember: reaching out for support is a sign of strength.

At Medshield Mind, we’re here to support your journey to mental wellbeing – because your peace of mind matters.