How do we find Inner Peace whatever the external circumstances?
A common phrase that we hear from participants in our programs, and from clients that we work with in the coaching space is, “I want to feel happy, peaceful, and content”. Many people feel that if external circumstances were different, they would be able to access the peace and contentment they are striving for.
In Mindfulness, we gently shift our focus from being caught up in what is happening around us to becoming aware of our internal experience (thoughts, emotions and sensations) and explore ways to be with “what is” with balance, calm and wisdom.
Be the Change
Mahatma Gandhi said that “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.”
He is advising us to be the change we wish to see in the world. In a world that is increasingly overwhelming, uncertain and stressful, it can be challenging to find peace and contentment. Mindfulness is one way to change our inner world to feel greater contentment and peace, whatever is happening around us.
Notice pleasant/ unpleasant and neutral experiences
One of the skills that we build in Mindfulness practices is the capacity to be with whatever is happening, whether it is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. The experience of “pleasant” is different for everybody. I may find the experience of eating olives pleasant, and someone else may find it unpleasant. Also, what initially appears to be a pleasant experience, can have unpleasant consequences – for example, driving too fast can result in an accident, although the initial experience may be one of exhilaration; eating an entire chocolate cake may result in feeling ill although at the time it may feel like a sensory delight.
Similarly, what we initially label as “unpleasant” can result in positive consequences. Waking up at 5am to exercise may be unpleasant, but the result of improved health and energy is pleasant.
Experiences that are neither pleasant nor unpleasant – the neutral – are perceived by many people as “boring”, especially in a world where what feels “normal” is usually an extreme of pleasant or unpleasant, so when life is neutral, it can seem flat, boring or feel like something is wrong – when in fact, neutrality is often where steadiness and ease can be found.
By observing your responses to situations, and becoming more aware of your thoughts, emotions and body sensations, and whether you are labelling an experience as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, you can begin to change how you respond, and in turn learn to find contentment with things as they are.
Try this Shift
Here is an exercise to try when you notice you are being swept up in the negativity of what is happening around you and wishing for things to be different
- Pause
- Bring your attention to your thoughts (simply notice without judgement)
- Take a deep breath
- Gently ask: “What is within my control right now?” and choose one small thing that you can change inyourself – your thoughts, feelings, or an action you can take.
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