Anxiety disorders are the most prevalent type of mental disorders in South Africa with one study finding that almost 16% of the population have experienced an anxiety disorder. Another recent study shows that almost 25% of South Africans experience symptoms of probable anxiety. It’s likely that we will all meet a person with anxiety at some point. Perhaps that person is even a family member. Supporting a family member diagnosed with anxiety disorder can contribute to their healing process, so long as your support is well-informed.
- Truly understanding their needs
Even the best intentions to support a loved one can be misguided if you don’t take time to understand the unique needs of your family member. Mental health is a spectrum and treatment is not a one-size-fits-all. Commit to continued learning not just about anxiety disorder but its expression in your family member. You can try to understand their needs by asking the person these questions and revisiting these themes through the journey:
- What makes you feel supported?
- What do I say that is helpful? Is there anything I say that you find unhelpful?
- What are some triggers that I can be aware of?
- Have you set any goals with your therapist?
- Gentle support in reaching their goals
Some of your loved one’s goals may not seem significant but your enthusiastic support of small goals may be exactly what your family member needs right now. Depending on the nature of their anxiety disorder, attending a large event or busy place may be very daunting. If the person in question is only able to achieve a small part towards a goal, meet this with encouragement rather than pushing them too far.
2. Gentle support in preventing stagnation
While staying positive and focusing on achievements rather than failures, you can also support them in preventing avoidance of difficult tasks. Try some collaborative negotiation:
I hear you say that attending the birthday party would be overwhelming. Could we stop by for five minutes? We could leave as soon as you are feeling uncomfortable.
The nature of anxiety means that long term goals are at times suppressed due to immediate feelings of unease. As a supporting family member, your gentle reminders can keep their bigger-picture goals in focus.
3. Self-care as the supporter
It is normal to feel concerned about your loved one and you may experience feelings of anxiousness yourself. Looking after your own mental health (possibly link to Medshield blog: https://medshieldmind.co.za/expert-advice-on-mental-health-self-care-at-home/) will only enable you to look after your family member better. Monitor yourself and make sure you are not sacrificing your own goals and self-care while spending energy caregiving. Keep checking in with yourself. When your loved one panics, be sure not to panic yourself.
4. Avoid dismissive statements
Try to avoid dismissive statements that invalidate the person with anxiety’s experiences:
- “Don’t worry about it!”
- “Just calm down!”
- “Just relax!”
- “Don’t be silly!”
These statements may negate what they are feeling rather than reassure them.
5. Use supportive language
- “I know you can do it, even if you are feeling that way.”
- “Tell me what you need right now?”
- “It’s not the place that is the problem, it’s the thoughts. I know you are in pain but the situation we are in is not dangerous.”
- “Take a second to breathe.”
Statements like these can help a person to feel encouraged and grounded.
Remember, every person is unique. The road to healing is so much richer when we find support and love from the people in our lives. Helping your family member to feel seen and heard can be one of the most powerful ways to provide support.
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