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The old saying goes, “Prevention is better than cure.” Sometimes, parenting can be a whirlwind venture with making it through a week of school runs, packed lunches and bedtimes being a big enough challenge. Sometimes, we only pay attention when something goes wrong. In the case of bullying, the aftereffects can be detrimental to your child’s mental health with knock on affects for their behaviour, social patterns and academic performance. Most children will encounter bullying at some point but the good news is that you can build resilience into your family and prepare your children to resist the worst.

Teach your child to recognise bullying

Help your child to clearly define in their own words what bullying is. What is the difference between bantering, a mean comment and deliberate targeting? You might want to think through scenarios together that would constitute bullying and at what point reporting the offender would be appropriate. Bullying can include a spectrum of physical violence, manipulation, or emotional abuse. Make it clear that none of this is acceptable.

Pay attention to how your child does or doesn’t describe events

Keep a running conversation about your child’s interactions at school. Form a family routine where you habitually ask each other about your days. This could be any shared time that you have together like in the car on the way home from school, at the dinner table or at bedtime. Ask questions that express your interest in your child’s social life. If a child avoids discussing another child or makes offhand remarks like ‘I don’t like Siyanda’, it’s important to press further. Continue to follow up on the progress of their personal relationships.

Build Inner Resilience

Psychologists say that children who are resilient to negative events have the following traits in common: A positive outlook on life, high self-esteem, involved parents, an ability to express emotions, and problem-solving abilities. These are all characteristics that you can encourage and nurture. Make sure to watch the way in which you talk about yourself around your children. Children absorb what they hear into their own internal self-talk. Inner resilience is like a cushion that softens the blow of the inevitable adversities of life. Building resilience will mean children can stand up to bullies on their own.

Tap into your community

It takes a village to raise a child. Say it with me: We are not alone. It’s ok to be the one to start the conversation. Speak to teachers and other parents in your community.

Here are some ways you can tap into your community:

• Initiate conversations with parents to share experiences and perspectives on bullying.
• Find out: What is the school policy on bullying?
• Phone the school and request access to any school resources on bullying. These could be guides for parents or material directed to children.
• Ask teachers directly what their methods are to address or prevent bullying.
• Write an email to the school requesting workshops or speakers to address the topic of bullying and bullying prevention.
• If you are connected to families at other schools, you can share what you’ve learned with them and ask them to do the same for you.

A proactive approach to bullying can give your child confidence and help them to feel supported. With a combination of open dialogue, a focus on resilience, and a connected community, you can help to protect your child from the effects of bullying.

Hurry.

It’s not just a word. It’s a warning.

It’s the pounding in your chest, the tension in your jaw, the feeling that no matter how fast you go, you’re still behind.

It’s the silent whisper that says, “You’re not doing enough. Keep going.”

But at what cost?

We live in a world that celebrates speed. We glorify being busy, wear exhaustion like a badge of honor, and treat rest like a weakness. We chase success, status, and validation – until one day, we look around and realize:

 We have everything we thought we wanted, and yet we feel empty.

We are the most connected generation, and somehow, the most alone.

Anxiety is rising. Depression is rising. Our bodies are tired, and no one seems to ask why.

One of the reasons?

Hurry.

Hurry is more than a pace. It’s a posture. One that disconnects us from ourselves, from each other, from the present moment.

It pushes us into survival mode, where there’s no room to feel, to breathe, to be.

Even in our crowded cities, where we live side by side with thousands, so many feel isolated.

In smaller communities, people lean on each other, trust one another, and share life. They need each other.

But in the rush of the city, ask yourself:

How many people in your apartment block would you trust with your house key?

Not because they’re strangers, but because we’re simply too hurried to know them.

And yet, it wasn’t always like this.

There was a time when rest was a sign of success.

The wealthy showed their status not by being busy, but by having time to lounge by the pool, to read, to enjoy slow meals with people they loved.

Now, we show our worth by how little time we have.

We’ve replaced peace with pressure – and it’s breaking us.

So how do we begin to heal?

We start with the radical act of slowing down.

Here are a few gentle shifts to help you reclaim your mind and your joy:

• Wake up a little earlier. Give yourself time to breathe before the world starts pulling at you.
• Drink your coffee slowly. Let it be sacred. No phone. Just stillness.
• Write down your thoughts. Even for 5 minutes. It reconnects you with you.
• Don’t rush to the gym, to work, to fix everything. Start the day with presence, not pressure.
• Take a full day of rest each week. Not to catch up – but to come back to life.

Mental wellness doesn’t just come from doing more.

It comes from doing less of what drains you and more of what brings you back to yourself.

So ask yourself honestly:

What do I need to let go of to become the person I want to be?

Because in the end, it’s not about doing more.

It’s about making space for love, for peace, for joy, for connection.

As John Mark Comer writes:

“You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

And John Ortberg reminds us:

“Hurry and love are incompatible.”

So take a breath.

Slow your steps.

And come back home – to your heart, your people, your life.

How Journaling Can Help to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

When we were teenagers, many of us who didn’t grow up in the digital age, had diaries that we poured our hearts into. As children, we even had homework assignments that focused on writing down our thoughts. The act of journaling comes with many healing benefits and, as adults, although it might feel foreign initially to pick up a pen and jot down your thoughts, it can be extremely therapeutic.

Journaling comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s a way to note down ideas or keep track of thoughts. Other times it’s in “dear-diary” format: a way to record, reflect and process experiences. It can also be a way to help set goals or intentions for the future. But one of the main benefits is how it helps to relieve stress.

Journaling for Stress Release

Remember when we were told to write lists of “pros and cons” when facing a big decision? Journaling can work in much the same way and give us a sense of clarity.

The act of writing down your feelings and thoughts can help you to release your frustrations, pains, anxieties and stressors. It often brings a sense of release once you’ve worked through what may be stressing you out.

When you ask yourself how likely a “worst-case scenario” is, you gain a more realistic perspective on life. Getting your thoughts down on paper helps you identify stress-inducing thoughts and beliefs that can be distortions of reality – which is hard to do when you’re in an anxious state. A good example is using overgeneralised words like “always” or “never” to describe your experiences. Start taking note of the language you use and add to situations and experiences, as this will help you discover your mindset, and serve as a starting point for overcoming those feelings.

A study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research conducted on chronically ill patients found that those who journaled regularly experienced fewer physical symptoms than those who did not. Thus the act of journaling can help you to feel physically better too! With prolonged stress hampering your immune system, journaling for boosting immunity from today is a way to begin accessing its benefits fast.

For more information on how journaling may help the immune system, click here.

Practical Tips For Journaling

So, how do you start journaling? These tips should help get you started.

1. If you don’t know what to start writing about, start with gratitude journaling. Begin by listing what you’re grateful for in the present moment. The act of practising gratitude alone helps to alleviate stress.
2. Establish a writing time that works for you. Some people like to journal as soon as they wake up, before starting their day. Others prefer to journal at night before they sleep. Carry a notebook with you and find a time of day that works naturally for you.
   (There is no pressure to write every day.)
3. Write for your eyes only. You can throw the pages away afterwards! This takes the pressure off.
4. Try using a pen and paper. Give yourself a break from technology, which can be distracting. (Oh, look, a WhatsApp message!) Try to be fully present when you journal.
5. Try different types of writing to find out what works for you. Begin by writing about yourself (who you are, what your dreams/goals are etc.) Thereafter, try a stream of consciousness – just free-flowing thought without attaching any judgement or analysis. If there is something you’re struggling with, try to write about it in the third person.

Prolonged anxiety can lead to depression and feelings of hopelessness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed to the point where your daily life is being affected, your behaviours are changing and you’re starting to feel depressed, reach out. Speak to your doctor, ask for a recommendation to see a psychologist or call the SADAG helpline: 011 234 4837.

If you need to find a doctor, click here for a list of doctors on the Medshield Network.